I need to know if you believe what I have said, I just want to know.

Either way what will it mean to me? Something, Not sure. If you don’t, I shall stop trying. If you do, why, how, you don’t know what happened.

I feel so incompetent at this. I’ve lived, why can’t I do this? Not sure I will succeed at this. Not sure my mental health will sustain the barrage of video, or the physical effects.

I have glimpses of an anger that I want to make other people responsible for. Funny, my mother said I was just like my father – all quiet until i wasnt. Then it was bad anger. Hurting anger.