How will I ever escape from him? As a kid I could get away from the house and stay away all day and feel a sense of freedom. Now I am am more away than ever and they are still with me. It is all with me. Heavy. The image, the feeling, the thoughts, the actions, the panic. The sick.

I feel that whatever and whoever I come into contact with is worse off. Because of who I am they are negatively affected. I only bring negative and hopelessness.