I don’t want to fail, but I suspect I will. Failure because my intentional actions will create that, failure because no matter the effort I put in it will not be adequate, and failure because there is no possibility of change.

What if I do talk, I say the words, I play the film, I narrate the story, and nothing changes? I need a reward, a salvation, a freedom from it. I’m then trapped in a darker prison with others looking on and I will be responsible for that. And someone else knows. It’s ok if someone knows and I’m no longer there, but if they know and I’m still in that place, I am powerless and vile.