Maybe its skills I need to learn? Despite having some theoretical knowledge and understanding of what is wrong with me, that does not seem to be helping me actually change or do what I think is needed.

I cant do this on my own, I clearly don’t know how to do this. I am quite capable of ‘surviving’ and getting by, I do it every day. But maybe I have reached the extent of that and it is running out. And I’m not sure that’s enough to keep me.

Where’s the ‘7 easy steps to becoming normal’ manual? Or maybe ’10 days to a non disgusting and happy you’ program?

I fear it may be an unwinnable fight with me creating wounded people along the way, only to end up in the same starting battlefield, and with less energy.