I’ve been self harming about once or twice a week for a few months now. Using it to manage my anxiety and control my hate and anger and make myself pay for being so vile and disgusting and useless.

I was sexually active with my brother. He wanted so I gave it. I didn’t question it. I could do it. I knew what to do. He was easier than my father.

Every day I want to die. I feel like a broken vile person that will never be free and will always be being enveloped by the filth of history, experience and contamination.